Oops. Somebody messed up. And you’ve got to deal with it. 

It’s time for what I like to refer to as………………………..”a challenging conversation.”




I’ve had my share of challenging conversations. Sometimes I was the one giving the talk. Sometimes I was the one receiving it. Now that I’m currently a solopreneur, I sometimes have to have the challenging talk with myself. Now that’s uncomfortable.

Every leader has them. They’re rarely easy, and no one really likes to have them.  But there are ways to make them as effective, productive and painless as possible. And it’s best to learn how before you’re in that moment.

Even if you’ve already curbed your emotions, it’s probable that emotions can run high in a challenging conversation so you want to ensure you can speak objectively about the problem instead of subjectively about the other person. There’s a conversation tool I learned from Michael Hyatt in his book – No Fail Communication: 13 Workplace Communication Problems and How to Fix Them. This tool will help you to keep the conversation from drifting into subjective communication, generalizations or (what may feel like) personal attacks. It’s called the Vision, Gap, Opportunity Framework.

Vision

Start by stating what you expected – your vision. If what you expected was written down (and shared) then it’s easy to start with that. If your expectations weren’t written down you can still state what you understood would be the outcome. It can be a statement like:

“I expected to have your deliverable completed by February 28.”

By stating your expectation, you’re letting the other person know what you originally needed and what you need now. This is important because you’ll address where the person came up short in the next framework step.

Gap

In this step you’ll define the gap between your vision (expectation) and what really happened. Based on your vision you wanted X, but the other person gave you Y. You can close this gap by stating this in an objective way along with why it matters. It can be a statement like:

“It’s now March 12, and your deliverable is still not complete. This means that the other project team members are two weeks behind on their deliverables since they’re contingent on your deliverable.”

Now the other person understands the situation from your point of view. And they understand any downstream effects. Even if they disagree with you, you both now have a common starting point.

Opportunity

In the last step you’ll state the opportunity for improvement in the future. When you frame it as an opportunity you help to get the other person involved in the solution. This can be a statement like:

“Next time I need you to notify me, and the team, if your deliverable is at risk. That way we can address it before it becomes a problem.”

When you use this framework, it will keep any challenging discussion objective. And that will help ensure your team member relationships stay strong.