In this week’s episode of SIMPLE brand With Matt Lyles, Michael Brenner and I talked about “marketing amnesia” – when marketers forget what it’s like to be human and create things that they would hate if they were the ones receiving it.

I later realized that there’s a number of different types of “amnesia” we can have in our business. One of those is “collaboration amnesia” – when we forget what it’s like to be human and react to our peers in a way we wouldn’t want them to react to us.

At the foundation of any thriving team is a focus on collaboration. And in a truly collaborative environment, how you treat each other is just as important as the actual work you deliver.

But even when you’re collaborating fully, sometimes mistakes may happen or you may find yourself in a situation caused by a peer that negatively affects your work. You may not be able to choose how these situations occur, but you can choose how you react to them. And you should react to them in a way you’d like someone to react to you if you were the one making the mistake.

Here are four steps to take before you act in a way towards your peers that you (or they) may end up regretting.

Curb your emotions.
You may have heard me talk about emotional intelligence as a means to understand and manage your emotions. When the stressors that affect your emotions are actually coming from work, it’s not as easy to manage them. But not managing them will make your situation much harder. Before you react and communicate, get a check on your emotions. Find a way to calm down and bring your emotions at least to a neutral level. Any conversation you have after curbing your emotions will be much more productive.

Be curious.

We all move at a fast pace, and that’s normally a good thing. But when you move too quickly, you can easily jump to conclusions about a situation and even about your peer’s intention. So before making any snap judgments or jumping to the wrong conclusion you can do what Ted Lasso and Walt Whitman suggest, “Be curious, not judgmental.” You can display your curiosity by asking questions: “Hey. I’m curious why this system isn’t running the way it’s supposed to.” “I’m curious why your email stated that. I don’t believe that’s an accurate statement.” “I’m curious why this deadline was missed.”

Assume positive intent.

Steven Covey pointed out a basic hypocrisy that most everyone struggles with:
“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”

When we make mistakes we normally recognize the circumstances of the situation. When others make mistakes we tend to overemphasize their role in the mistake, and as a result, we tend to assume that other people’s personalities, characters, and values have led to their mistakes. If you want to make any assumptions in this situation, then assume positive intent. I can almost guarantee that no one on your team is there to intentionally cause harm or intentionally fall down on their job. When you assume positive intent, you give people the benefit of the doubt, and you give yourself the chance to learn the details of the situation. Once you learn the details, you may get to see that your peers are indeed committed, competent, and on top of the situation to the best of their ability.

Offer help.

Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes they know how to fix it quickly, and sometimes they’re still troubleshooting. If your peer makes a mistake that affects you, you may have a different perspective on it than they do. You may know something they don’t. Offer to help take a look at the problem with them and see if it’s something you can help solve. Of course the situation may be their responsibility, and it may not be in your job description. But it is in your job description to look out for your peers and support them. They (or someone else) may just help you when you make a mistake.

Since you likely spend more time with your peers than with anyone else it’s essential to have a good relationship with them. And if you keep these lessons in mind, you’ll ensure that your team remains one strong, collaborative team.