Recently, I heard from a friend who told me about experiences he had with two different supervisors in his career. Both of the supervisors liked to have 1-on-1 meetings with him each week where they would discuss status updates, development plans and any other pressing issues.
During meetings with “Manager 1” that manager would always check his phone or email if he heard any notifications. He’d fire off a few email or text replies. He would even pause the meeting to answer any calls that came in. During meetings with “Manager 2” she would always start their meeting by placing her phone upside down on the table in front of them so that he knew he had her full attention. She was fully present with him while they met. If a text came in she’d ignore it. If the phone rang she’d ignore it.
Guess which relationship he valued more? Guess which supervisor he was more willing to work harder for? Guess which supervisor he always recommends to others?
Yep, Manager 2.
So which one of these two leaders are you? (HA! That’s a trick question. Only one of these two is really a leader. The other one is just a supervisor.)
Look – I get it. You’ve got more demands on your time than ever, and those demands are growing every day. But if you need to prioritize where to place your focus, then it needs to be towards your most important investment – your people.
And you need to show your people that they’re heard, that they matter, that they’re valued. And one of the best ways to do that is to be present with them.
Whether it’s your peers, your team members, your clients, or especially your family, it’s always important to be fully present with them when they need you too. Listen fully and intently to them when they’re speaking to you – you can’t multitask and be 100% present. Make eye contact, and actively listen to what they’re saying instead of trying to think of what you want to say next while they’re still talking.
When you’re with someone, offer them the experience of being important to you. At that moment, make them the only person in the world who has your attention – your complete and undivided attention.
When you’re fully present with someone else you’ll make them feel like they’re your top priority. And when they feel that way I guarantee they’ll value your relationship more, they’ll work harder for you, and they’ll recommend you and sing your praises to others.
