Remember how I told you about us moving and how there were some fun times with that?

Turns out there’s some not-so-fun times that happen when you move too. We’ve heard before about how selling a house, and moving, is one of the top-five stressful life events. Now I understand.

We were deciding what goes and what gets left behind from our fifteen years worth of stuff, fixing inspection report items, visiting favorite spots one last time, saying goodbye to friends, managing our emotions, helping our boys manage their emotions. On top of that, we were dealing with starting a new business venture as our primary family income, finding the right school program for boys and figuring out how to get healthcare for my family.

I’ll admit it – I was overwhelmed. And I had to remind myself how I learned to deal with it in my previous career.

We all can feel overworked. We all can feel overwhelmed, at least some of the time. Even if we have it relatively easy by other people’s standards, we can still feel overworked and overwhelmed in our professional and personal lives.

Most of the time, being overwhelmed comes from having too many priorities to manage while trying to please too many people and not having enough time or resources to do it. Being overwhelmed can stifle your creativity, reduce your productivity, cause you to make more mistakes and downplay any feelings of accomplishment. It also affects your work-life balance, your relationships and can put your health at risk due to the physical and emotional impacts.

But how can you keep it at bay and not let it paralyze you?

Here are seven actions I take to deal with overwhelm and stress.

1. Recognize the overwhelm 
The effects of being overwhelmed show up differently for everyone. Some people get irritable and short with their colleagues or team members. Others may feel debilitated and depressed and would rather call in sick than face the overwhelming demands of their day. Me? I tend to feel paralyzed, like I can’t do anything. Figure out what the effects are for you and look at them as signals. The sooner you recognize you’re in overwhelm land, the faster you can stop and find a strategy to deal with it so you can control it before it controls you.

2. Reframe your language 

Usually, when people recognize they’re overwhelmed, they begin every sentence with, “I’m so overwhelmed …”  Using that language simply reaffirms the situation they’re in. Instead of using that language, reframe your “I’m so overwhelmed” statement into something specific like, “I have 12 things to do and only two days to do them.” That puts you in a much better position to think through what’s needed for each task. When you reframe your language to remove generalities and use more specifics, it helps you to start zeroing in on strategies and solutions for getting out of overwhelm land.

3. Reply strategically 
You can’t say “yes” to everything. Learning how to say “no” can be a major life-saver. This was a HUGE struggle for me early in my career. Being a people-pleaser, I simply didn’t know how to set proper boundaries for myself, and I’d commit to much more than I could handle. You need to learn how to say “no” to others. And you need to learn how to say “no” to yourself, too. When a new request or opportunity comes in, before you say “yes,” think about whether or not you can actually deliver on the commitment you’d be making, without conflicting with your other important commitments or leaving yourself struggling.  If a ‘yes’ would put you over the line, respectfully decline. Even if the request is coming from your leadership, or from a client, simply remind them of the current priorities and offer up a recommendation on what CAN be done. Michael Hyatt says it best: “Every time we say NO to something that’s not important, we are saying YES to something that is.”

4. Rearrange your priorities 

Speaking of Michael Hyatt, he gave me one of the best lessons in managing my overwhelm. “Just do the next right thing.” When you’re overwhelmed by staring at long list of commitments, make sure you understand the priority of each. If they’re not prioritized, rearrange them so the right items are on top. Then simply “do the next right thing.” With each “next right thing” you tackle, you’ll start to feel more clarity and control.

5. Resist inflexibility 

One of the ways I manage my time is by laying out what I refer to as my ideal week. It’s a way to have my workstreams and tasks generally planned on a regular basis. Notice that I use the word, “ideal.” I have to allow for some flexibility in my week for any big surprises. Otherwise, I’d always be overwhelmed when my day doesn’t go exactly as planned. In fact, most days won’t happen precisely the way you want them to, so you have to enter each day with some allowance of flexibility.

6. Remove distractions 

Let’s face it, we’re in the age of distraction. Most of us are distracted over 30 times an hour: phone calls, emails, texts, office drop-ins, Facebook notification… The list is endless. If you’re already overwhelmed, you’ll be much worse when you realize you got distracted by something else that took your focus away. Your calendar can be your strongest tool. Schedule blocks of time when you’ll turn off alerts, when you won’t check email, when people know to not disturb you, when no one else can put another meeting on your calendar. The only way to stay on schedule is to work on your own schedule.

​7. Reach out for help 

Sometimes we’re too afraid to show any vulnerability and let others know we need help. At the same time, most of us are always ready to jump in and help others. If someone’s ready to help you, let them. Chances are, they’re in a great frame of mind to help you take a creative look at all your commitments and help you create a strategy to meet them.

Remember, you’re responsible for how you react to your workload. While other people can make requests, no one has the power to make you feel a certain way. The only person who can  keep you from feeling overworked and overwhelmed is you.