I’m following up from last week’s article on the value that empathy has in how we manage the experience we deliver to our people.
I’m going to try something a little different today. I want you to try a brief exercise that you can do by yourself anywhere – unless you’re driving. Both hands on the wheel, please!
If someone else is around while you’re doing this, and they’re curious about what you’re doing, explain it to them when you’re done. And then walk them through the exercise. They may enjoy it! Or they may think you’re crazy. Either way, you’ll make an impact on them.
Here’s what I want you to do:
- Raise your arm above your head and point your index finger upwards.
- Look up at your finger and begin tracing circles clockwise in the air.
- Now as you keep spinning your finger, slowly bring it straight down to chest level while you are still keeping it pointed upward.
- Which direction is your finger spinning now?
- If you did this correctly, you were rotating your finger clockwise while you were looking up. But as you brought your finger down your point of view shifted to seeing your finger from the top. This made your finger appear to rotate counterclockwise.
Wait! Did that exercise just blow your mind?
As you try to wrap your mind around what just happened, think about these questions:
- Did you expect the change that you saw?
- What were your first thoughts about why your finger was rotating in a “different direction?”
- How was it long before you realized why the direction of rotation “changed?”
This exercise illustrates the impact of changing your perspective. Most everything we do, most everything we think, most everything we assume depends on our own point of view. But if we want to ensure that we’re serving others with true empathy (SPOILER ALERT: we do!), sometimes we need to shift the way we look at our people and their goals, challenges and expectations. When we try to see things from their perspective – not just our own – we’re in a much better position to deliver simple experiences to them.
Focusing on others’ perspectives can actually give you the insight and wisdom to understand people better. That doesn’t mean that you have to believe everything they believe. That doesn’t mean that you have to feel everything they feel. It simply means you understand how they see the world, and you understand how you can serve them based on how they see the world, not based on how you see it.
Many times we assume what others want and need from us. And you know what happens when you assume?
Actually, when we assume what others want and need from us, we create a big misunderstanding. And that misunderstanding is not their fault – it’s ours.
You’ve got opportunities to serve your people every day. And you can only truly serve them once you understand them and their perspective.
That’s why true empathy can’t be faked. True empathy is sincere.
If you try to fake empathy, if you try to simply say that you understand someone else’s perspective, but you really don’t – other people will recognize it. Not only will they recognize it, they’ll also lose an immense amount of trust in you. When they lose trust in you, they’ll see you as someone who lacks integrity. When they lose trust in you, it’ll make it much harder for them to want to interact with you.
As you head into this next week, I ask you to seek out opportunities to better understand others’ perspectives. It’s a habit and discipline that’ll take some work to build. But once you do build it, you’ll be able to show true empathy towards those you serve.
And I also just gave you a pretty neat exercise to share at parties and meetings. You’re welcome.
