If you know me, you know I like to have a well-defined morning routine and schedule. I’m still redefining what mine is today, but a couple of years ago I had set like clockwork.
Every so often I’d have a special event to attend in the morning. When that happened, I’d shift things around in my routine and/or wake up even earlier. One morning I had it on my calendar to attend a networking event with a breakfast and presenter. I knew exactly what time I needed to leave the house in order to make it to the event, and I set up that morning’s schedule on my calendar.
When that morning came,I was up and atom bright and early – 4:50am. I got everything done that I had scheduled to do. I was right at the point where I needed to leave the house, when my son woke up and walked into the kitchen. Usually I can direct them back into their beds when they wake up early. But this time was a little different. He was woken up by a nightmare – not just a bad dream, but a nightmare. And he was visibly shaken by it, and he wanted to tell me about it.
No one else in the house was up yet – just me and him. We went and snuggled on the couch for a moment, and I asked him to tell me about it. I can’t recall the details of his nightmare, but we talked about it and about the likelihood of it actually happening in real life. And we talked about all the people (including God) who are here to help protect him. He was wide awake at this point so I made him some breakfast and sat with him until Rachel came downstairs. Then I was off to my event.
I made it to the breakfast portion “on-time,” but I didn’t make it there in time to network. As I was walking into the event with a few other stragglers, I shared my story. A lady I was walking with said she normally tells her children in situations like that, “Not now. Save that until later.”
Now I’m not here to tell anyone how to parent their children, but Rachel and I are trying to ensure our children will always feel welcome and comfortable bringing anything they feel is important to us, and we’ll normally talk about it right then. If we kept asking them to “save that until later” how many times will they keep saving it until later before they start feeling like what they have to say isn’t important and stop coming to us with the important stuff?
As parents, we should all want our children to know, and to feel, like they can approach us. As leaders, we should all want our team members to know, and to feel, like they can approach us.
When we’re seen as approachable, our team members trust us. When we’re seen as approachable, our team members are more creative with their ideas. When we’re seen as approachable, our team members are more likely to become more approachable with others. When we’re seen as approachable, our teams are more effective.
I’m sure most of us have worked with leaders who were approachable and with leaders who weren’t. Which one did you enjoy working for the most? Which one were you loyal to the most? Which one did you thrive under the most?
Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly times when you have a higher-priority conflict, and you do have to tell your team members (or your children) to “save that until later.” Make sure those times are few and far between. And when you do, make sure:
- They understand WHY you need to talk about it later
- You’re the one to schedule on your calendar exactly when you’ll talk about it with them. Protip: it should be within one business day if at all possible
- You tell them you recognize this is important to them
The best leaders take time for what’s important to the people who are important to them.
